


Different

by ziam_larry_nina



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bottom Zayn, Domestic Violence, M/M, Racism, Shy Zayn, Top Liam, Underage - Freeform, aparthied, illegal relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:59:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 19,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5409083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziam_larry_nina/pseuds/ziam_larry_nina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe It was because it was forbidden, or maybe it was because I was young and naïve and maybe I let my walls that I promised myself never to let down fall too quickly all I know is that before I even realised it he had already crept under my skin. Growing up hearing stories about people like him, people that treat people like me like we are inferior, like we are of a lower standard, they use us why? because my skin was a little darker then his because I was different. Because we were different but he was too he didn't make me feel that way he made me feel things I didn't want to feel for him because I knew it was wrong I knew if my father had to find out he would be so angry. I knew that our relationship was illegal and that we both could get in serious shit if anyone found out yet I still wanted him.</p><p>or Zayn works for Liam's family as like a man maid and Liam is taking a break year from studying and is back from university.They fall in love even though it is illegal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If only

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, My name is Anna. This is my first story I really hope whoever reads this enjoys it.

"Zayn, Zayn....Zayn ..Oh sunshine you gotta get up now you have school" I heard my mum say I know I should probably wake up now I don't want to be late but my body ached everywhere and I longed to stay in bed a few more hours while my mum ran her thumb along my cheek. I ached everywhere because we had finished extra late last night at the farm and I know my mum felt guilty because of this so I did what I do best ignore what I feel.

"mum I'm awake" I smiled up at her so her worries would fad, I would do anything to make my parents happy "oh sweetheart how are you feeling" I could hear her worry through that smile she offered me "I'm good mum , I'm good" I could see the hesitation in her eyes as she patted my cheek and replied "okay sunshine go get ready for school then" 

Once she left I climbed out of bed wincing at the pain that shot up throughout my body. I hate my life. After I had a bathe and dressed up ,well I wouldn't call it dressing up more like seeing what looks the least horrible and wearing that, not that it mattered everyone at school were going through the same problems as my family and I. 

See I went to a non-white school and that meant I went to a school that everyone that was underprivileged went to because we are given the worst opportunities in life that simply meant I had no future at all and would be suffering my whole life as a bum and would work myself to death like I see my father doing so, just to put food on the table. 

I sighed and walked into the kitchen but stopped dead in my tracks before i could be noticed and watched as my dad kissed my mum's forehead whilst she hugged him. I found myself smiling at that ,they really did love each other no matter how many problems we face he's right there for her and she's right there for him. 

But stuff like that doesn't happed to everyone and I'm not that stupid to believe that something like that would every happen to me. I'm realistic not like my sisters who think prince charming is coming to save them from here. I know that shit only happens in movies and that I have to face the truth and that I have to realise that my life is one that's going to have and has many challenges because of me being a non-whited South African in 1989. I hate this. I hate how they can make us feel and treat us inferior because of our skin colour. These people have no hearts.

I walked in and saw as my parents let go of each other while my dads hand still lingered on the small of my mums back "Good morning" my dad greeted me with a smile. I smiled back and replied "morning dad" my mum handed me my breakfast and i thanked her still observing my parents in the corner of my eye as the spoke quietly with each other i found myself longer to have someone as much as i know it's not happening i have no time for that. i wanted someone to hold me , I wanted someone to whisper quietly to me and to touch me . I shook my head and got rid of those thoughts. I have no time for a someone.

I left quietly for school before my parents could say bye and ran downtown to the local small school i went to the classrooms are really small and crowded but i had one of the smallest classes because I was in grade 11(that's sophomore) very few children actually stay at school most leaving to help parents because of the small income. My class only had Indians like me and was a better school compared to the other older schools around. I liked school made me forget about most problems.

I walk into school and see my bestfriends, Harry and Louis standing together. I walk towards them as I see Lou blush at something Harry says these two are hopelessly in love with each other but none would make the first move. I roll my eyes at this as I make my presences known "Hello" I say sarcastically the two finally notice my presence and blush. Oh god I'm surrounded by love.

The day goes on as every other but after last period I walk out to see Harry and Louis holding hands. Louis looking down a the floor while Harry is speaking softly in his ear. Finally, they were in love with each other since like grade 2. I decide to leave them alone and start walking home alone. I'm really happy for them they deserve this. 

I walk straight towards the farm my mum works at, when I arrive I find my mum quickly and get right to work. By the time i see the sun setting I'm so tired I could just die. Before we leave the white farmer who owns the farm calls my mum. I watch carefully to make sure she is okay as she talks to the farmer. He is a good man and doesn't treat his workers that bad. 

My mum comes back "he wants you to work at his house" she says to me" "what" i reply as if she must be joking " he said that you work very hard for a young man like yourself and that you shouldn't be working like this when you have school the next day" i look at her in disbelief " No..n..No I'm not going to leave you here to work alone" "oh Zayn , I'm fine i do perfectly well when you are at school and this is better for you he said that you are allowed to leave as soon as what is asked of you is done, and you will get paid better, this will be good for us" and how could I every say no to her.


	2. Meeting him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi to anyone who reads this it means a lot, enjoy :)

I can't stop think about what happened today, I'm so scared but I'll do it for my parents I can't let them down and maybe just maybe this will be a good thing for us. I fell asleep with that thought. It's for my parents, for our family.

*The next morning*

I woke up before my mum could get me up, that's a first, well today is going to be dreadful. I can't wait. Once I got out of the shower i looked for my favourite grey jumper and my best jeans. I wanted to give a good first impression to Mr Payne's family. 

At school i wanted to tell Harry and Louis about how Mr Payne is giving me a job at his home but i didn't get the chance to they are seriously pissing me off . Believe me i'm happy for them but come on I don't want the only conversations to be about how deep Harry's voice is and how beautiful Louis blue eyes are. I am going to die.

Once the bell rang for the last period I quickly shouted a goodbye to Harry and Louis and ran to the farm. Mr Payne said I should meet him there and then he would take me to his home. I am extremely nervous, what if they hate me or what if I am hopeless at my job. Oh god help me.

He saw me and called me over "Boy come here" i walked over to him with my head down he continued "ready to go" i nodded he was friendly enough. When we arrived at his house i was amazed. Whites and non-whites lived in separate areas this being the first time i came into a whites only area i was astonished at the size of the houses and Mr Payne's was the biggest I had seen so far. 

"come" he called me and if i thought the outside was big the inside was huge and beautiful and had stair cases on both sides when you entered. My eyes filled with wonder as I took all this in. The lounge was the size of my whole house. 

My thoughts were cut of by a women ,I guessed that must be Mrs Payne "hello dear" i smiled shyly at her, these people seemed so nice "hi mam" I muttered "okay I'll be off then my wife will show you what needs to be done" Mr Payne said as he left. "come dear don't be scared, okay you just have to clean up okay I'm having guests home later for dinner and will need someone here to help out. "First I walked into the kitchen and started cleaning up the rolled my jumper up and started washing the many pots and pans that were out. I was on to my last plate and i turned around to put it in the cupboard when i saw a man in the kitchen and i dropped the plate and watched it shatter. I quickly knelt down and started picking the pieces up. The boy or man i dunno was still above me watching me i could feel his eyes on me. When Mrs Payne walked in and "what happened"

"I'm so sorry mam i didn't mean to it was a mistake it won't happen again" i pleaded and i could feel the tears run down my face, oh god why am i crying she's going to kill me. "I'm so so sorry mam" i begged " oh dear it's fine just a plate, oh and this is my son" and she walked out. Oh god he could get me fired what if i hurt him. 

"Hello" i heard him say and oh his voice was so calm and warm. I looked up through my eyelashes at him, still standing above me and oh my he was beautiful, he had chocolate brown eyes that I could just get lost in they were so warm and his nose was so cute, his lips thick and pink and god don't get me started on his body, he was tall and muscular . I suddenly felt very conscious about myself " hi , sir" I whispered softly, i don't even think he heard me ,I looked down again and continued picking up the plate pieces "my names Liam" he said "don't call me sir" i nodded too scared to look up. 

As much as he looks like a good person I know what these people are they aren't what they seem to be like. "What's your name? " he asked " Zayn" i whispered again "what are you doing in my house Zayn?"well now I was really scared what was i suppose to say why can't he go and ask his mother " aren't you suppose to be at school?" he asked "I came after" I spoke quietly "how old are you Zayn?" I had finish clear the mess i made but i was afraid to stand up heck i couldn't even look at the boy above me, still staring at the ground "16" "look at me when i speak to you Zayn" i quickly looked up "I..I'm so..sorry" I stuttered, he still had a blank face and I knew mine was anything but. I bet he could see the fear in my eyes. I bit my lip waiting for him to say something because he just stood there and stared at me. He looked at me one last time and left the kitchen. I watched as he left and then stood up after. He was so beautiful yet I was so scared. I let a breath I didn't know I was holding.


	3. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hope you enjoy :) xxanna

I don't see him again. I'm currently sitting in the kitchen waiting for Mrs Payne's guests to move to the dining room so I can serve dinner. I don't know what scares me more knowing Liam will be there or having guests over. 

"Oh dear, serve now." I nodded ,she doesn't say my name at first I thought she was sweet calling me dear but Liam's the only one who has asked me what my name was.

I begin to take in the starter. The new guests are, Mr Horan around Mr Payne's age and they seem to be good friends so do Mrs Payne and the Mrs Horan. Then there's the son with blond tips and pale skin, he seems to be very close to Liam and looks the same age as him. I serve to the guests first and then go on to the Payne's and everything's going perfect so far.

I had served the main course and I'm getting desert ready .It's not much just ice cream but Mr Payne calls me to bring more wine. I poured for every guest and then Liam. It's at him that disaster happens. I'm pouring when he startles me and oh my god I drop on his white shirt and let me add Liam's looking fine as wine and now that   
literally is the case "I..I.I'm sorry sir please sir I'm so sorry" I plead more like cry out, I seem to be crying every time I am near Liam " It was a mistake sir" I shake my head violently "I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry" 

He walks out of the dining room with a blank face and I've never been more scared in my life what if he hits me. With that muscles he just needs one punch at my wiry frame and I fall dead. I follow him with my head down into the bathroom in his room, no one else seems to say anything. "Fuck" I hear him swear and his voice is frustrated and angry and well I'm so scared. "I'm sorry sir ,I never meant to, I promise it was a mistake" I cry out. he continues to wipe his shirt and ignore me. He turns around, grabs my wrist and pulls me into his bedroom. "Get out a new shirt" he say, irritated. And pushes me towards his closets. I trip and fall he ignores that and starts taking out his tie, then starts unbuttoning his shirt. I pick out another white shirt and blue tie from his large closet seriously I could get lost in it. It's bigger than my room. When I walk out he is sitting on his   
king size bed and is rubbing his hands over his face in frustration. He is shirtless and I find it very hard to concentrate because of that . With my head bowed I walk over to him with his shirt, he puts it on and stands there and waits for me to put his tie for him .His taller than me so I have to stand on my toes to put it in, I start making it trying best not to look at him but that's really hard when I'm setting his tie. I can feel his eyes burning my skull, he probably wants to hit me now. "Didn't I tell you not to call me sir" "I'm sorry Liam" I mutter quietly "And look at me when I talk to you" he say aggressively as he grabs the front of my jumper and pulls me up, forcing me to look up at him. I'm so afraid I can't even breath he just stares down at me with no emotion what so ever. I can feel the wet tears run down my cheek and god why does this have to happen to me? I close me eyes so the tears would stop. It feels like hours went by before he just pushes me away and leaves the room. I let out a breath and pick myself up. 

I walk downstairs and straight into the kitchen bringing out desert. Liam sits there and terrifies me. I just want to go home now, I hate this. The Horan's leave after they had tea and I start cleaning   
cleaning up. I'm washing the dishes when someone walks in and asks me "how are you going home?" It's Liam. I quickly turn around and look up at him with fear " I'm walking home Liam" I say quietly as I bit my lip and wait "It's late" I nod "Where do you live?" he asks "downtown" he nods and asks "must I drop you of ?" I don't know if I heard wrong or what but I don't say anything. He bangs the cupboard closed "I asked you a question" I wouldn't call it yelling but he did raise his voice at me. I shake my head violently "N.n.no it's fine sir" I shake my head "I mean Liam" and I close my eyes it's hard to face him. I open again and he's still standing there " Make it fast I'm taking you home in 30" and he leaves at that.

I finish quickly and Mrs Payne comes in "oh what a wonderful job you did today look forward to seeing you tomorrow" I smile at her shyly and then Liam comes in " come on " and turns and walks out. I quickly follow him. We don't talk the whole ride home. When he stops at my house I turn to him "Thank you Liam" I barely whisper. He nods "goodnight" I mutter "night" and with that he drives off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :) xxanna


	4. Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey whoever is reading, enjoy :) xxanna

As soon as I entered my parents were studying me for bruises and beat marks and my sisters rushed to me and compounded me with questions. I roll my eyes and started walking to my room "I'm fine" I look at my mum and smile to wash away any hesitation. "okay sunshine" she says softly "come have dinner they kept you until such a late hour" she asked concerned "ya they had guests over" I didn't really want to talk about tonight still a little shaken. So I lied "I'm not hungry" and continued walking towards my room "Zayn?" 

I heard my father, "yes dad" I bit my lip, he always could tell when I lied, very different from my mum who was gullible, he walked towards me, guided me into my room and shut the door after. We sat in silence for awhile until he spoke "did any one of them try to hurt you son?" he asked in a serious tone, one that I barely heard, "I promise dad if they try to hurt me I'll tell you, their actually really nice people" I said defending the Payne's "Son that's what they all act like in the start" with that he left.

I wondered if he was right, I found myself wondering about Liam but quickly got rid of those thoughts. I fell asleep after that today had been a busy day for me.

*Next morning at school*

"hey zee" Louis and Harry say together and then giggle because of that, "hey" I say "you wanna hang out after school?, I'm sure they won't even notice you're not there" lou says. I shake my head and start walking to class "I can't" "ahh come on Zayn just one day" Harry begs "feels like we don't hand out a lot" he continues. " sorry guys I got a new job I don't walk at the farm anymore , I still work for Mr Payne but now I work at his house " I walk a little faster , they come in front of me with their shocked expressions " what the hell! when did that happen?" lou asks 

"My first day was yesterday" I muttered "wow well thanks for informing us" Lou says sarcastically. "I didn't have time to tell you guys you two were together all day" I argued "still, anyway what was it like?" non-whites non-whites weren't allowed in those areas "oh it's amazing Mr Payne's house is huge........."

*After school* 

I ran down to the farm and said a quick hello to my mum when I saw Mr Payne over on the other side waving me over. I walk quickly to him and greet him "hello sir" he smiled and greeted back "hello, today I can't take you down to the house my son's going to pick you up okay "he say very rushed and continues his conversation with another worker 

I wait a few minutes then with no sign of Liam I go to help my mum I can't stand to watch her work. About half an hour goes bye before someone is tapping my shoulder. I turn around and notice it's Liam "come on" I stand up and quickly let my mum know I'm leaving before walking behind Liam. 

The drive home was quiet at first then Liam starts "hello Zayn" he says firmly "hi Liam" I say quietly, still afraid because of yesterdays mistakes. After a few moments he specks again "that your mum back there?" I nod "does you father not work? huh sending his wife to work ? what a disgrace can't provide for his family makes his young 16 year son to work to provide for him. He shouldn't call himself a man his an insult to hard working men like my father!" he practically yells that to me and no he can talk to me like I'm nothing but not my father. When he turns to me I smack him right across his cheek "my father works himself to death for us don't you dare call him a disgrace" I scream out. Just then I just realise what I did and oh my god what did I just do. He could get me fired and my mum worse my dad works in one of Mr Payne's good friends mines he would leaves us all unemployed. What am I talking about that's if I live to see them again. I turn sideways to look at Liam and his cheek is now an angry red and that only makes him look even more scary. oh my what did I do " I..I.I'm S.S.Sorry Pl..ple..please...Li..liam please I'm sorry oh please liam i'm so sorry please" I cried out the tears where falling non-stop and this time I didn't try to hold them back "SHUT UP DAMMIT " He banged the steering wheel and yelled at me but I couldn't stop I knew once we reached his house I couldn't do anything and we were very close "please liam please my mum needs her job and my . da..dad also does don't do anything to them please I'll do anything you can beat me and fire me too I don't care but please liam I'm begging you don't tell your parents" I begged him ,I was full on sobbing now because we were in his yard now "Please Liam" I whispered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :) xxanna


	5. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hope you like it so far xxanna

The fear that is in me now can compares to nothing. How could I have being so stupid? I could just die and worst part is that he is just sitting there and burning holes through my head while I do the same to my black jeans . "Get out" he says angry still in his tone , "please liam" I sob out as I turn to him and plead "I said GET OUT" he shouts. I quickly stumble out. 

Before I know it I'm being pulled by my wrist into the Payne's house, I whimper as I get dragged up the stairs and then thrown into the room I falling onto the floor. I stay on the floor and cry while I watch liam get frustrated. 

But then I'm being grabbed by my sweater and pushed roughly against the wall," please Liam" I whimper. I hear liam swing his hand forward to punch me but it's either that I am numb with pain or liam didn't punch me, I open my eyes and see liam looking down. One hand still holding me against the wall and the other punch the wall right beside me "you make me so frustrated" he says softly and huffs out a laugh. I watch as he pulls his right hand away from the wall, his hand is bleeding and it's my fault. First I slap him and now i give him a possible sprained bleeding wrist.

My eyes and his lock before I whisper "I'm sorry Liam" his grip on me becomes loose as I take his hurt hand in mine, sudden confidence I didn't know I had "put me down Liam" still looking in his eyes and i think it's he's eyes that make me confident still warm even though I hurt him . He puts me down and I walk into the bathroom in his room and I look in the cupboard for some medicine and a bandage. Once I found it I turn to see Liam sitting on his bed staring at me. I look down suddenly all the confidence I had 2 seconds ago is gone and I'm conscious about myself again . I walk over to him and kneel in front of him with a bowl of water, the medicine and the bandage I take his hand in mine again and I start cleaning it up ,looking at what a big damage I caused. I put on his bandage for him after that and let Liam's hand go. We sit there in silence for a while before,

"I wouldn't have told you know ? I wouldn't want you to get fired or you parents lose their jobs." He huffed out and shook his head," I wanted to apologise too actually" he looks like he had never apologised in his life " I shouldn't have ever insulted your father like that, it's not my place and I was wrong" he looks down "I just was a little angry that at 16 you... you ..you have to work " he said looking down and I can't believe what just happened. This is the first time I can see an emotion besides angry in him, he looks nervous. But as fast as it came it's gone. He shakes his head and leaves the room leaves me on his room floor.

Still in shook of what just happened, I stay on the ground for a while until I hear Mrs Payne. Oh my I total forgot about them. I run downstairs tripping and all finally in front of her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading xxanna


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm sor...." she cut me off "where were you" she asked " why where you upstairs?" I didn't know what to say "I..I..I was Ju..just.." I'm cut of again but it's not by Mrs Payne "he was helping me with something" it's liam . Thank god "oh dear what happened ?" I hear Mrs Payne screech out. I turn around now to look at liam who was behind me. Mrs Payne is studying his hand, just like I had done our eyes meet and we keep it locked while he speaks again "oh It's nothing, you don't have to worry mum" he breaks our eye contact and looks his mums worried face and caress his good hand over her face and smiles. Its such a beautiful sight to see liam loving and caring "mum I'm okay I promise just a little mistake" Mrs Payne cresses her forehead and look down at his hand again "which medicine did you use" liam just looks at me " the purple one mam" I whisper "Zayn helped me with it I didn't want you to worry" he says "Zayn?" If I hadn't already embarrassed myself in front of Liam enough well this just did it " Mum he's names Zayn" he sounds a little embarrassed himself, he looks at me with an apology writing all over his face. I shrug my shoulders and smile at him as if to say don't worry about it. "okay then liam but I don't wanna see this again okay" she points to his hand " mum it's fine " she gives him a warning look and he rolls his eyes when she turns to me and I'm finding it so hard not to laugh "right Zayn you just have to clean up no guest today " I nod 

A little later at about 5 the son of Mr and Mrs Horan comes over he and liam are very good friends so they are in his room. They are there for a while when mam asks me to take up something for the boys to eat. I nod and grab some stuff before walking up the stairs to liam's room. I find it very difficult to knock with my hands full so I put the things down.

When someone opens it I reach down to pick it up when he stops me and winks"I got it "he goes to pick up the stuff I blush and walk inside "thank you" I say softly before turning to leave. When he grabs my hand " why don't you stay here a little while I'm sure aunty Karen wouldn't mind" "i really shouldn't" I shake my head "come on just a little while" I don't want to but I just breath out and look to liam to see if I could "come on liam he needs a break " the blond boy moans to liam. Liam just nods and gets back to the movie they were watching " hey my names Niall" he says, his so lively and energetic "Zayn""well why don't you just have a beautiful name Zayn " he says as he drags me to the couch. I blush again, god this boy's very forward. Once we are seated on the couch he keeps his arm around me and just stares at me with a smirk on his face " Tell me Liam where do I hire someone as hot as Zayn to work for me?" "shut up niall" liam says in a bored tone " ahh come on liam isn't he pretty?" I look down but I can feel liam looking at me after what feels like forever he replies "beautiful" he says softly more to himself then to anyone else. I look up through my eye lashes and catch his chocolate brown eyes I look at him with my questioning eyes he just smiles and turns back to the movie. After a about 10 min I stand up " I should go check if Mrs Payne needs anything" I say and quickly walk out. Just as I'm about to walk down the stairs someone grabs my wrist "come on I'll take you home now it's already late , your parents are probably worried" he says and turns to walk down the stairs "it's fine liam you don't have to" I say but he just shakes his head we walk down stairs. Just about to leave when Mrs Payne speaks to me " oh Zayn ,thought you had already left" " nah niall was just talking to him mum" liam says "oh well then good bye Zayn see you tomorrow. I smile at her before she turns and leaves. 

We drive home in silence were half way there when I turn and look at liam he has a blank face like always. He so stern and serious all the time, the only times his not is when he wants to beat the shit out of me but is a gentleman and can't do it. I'm still looking at him when we reach a stop street when he turns to look at me our eyes only meet for a second and I quickly turn around and look out the window. What is happening to me."so you have siblings?" he asks, I nod "ya 3 sisters" he nods "only boy me too, have 2 older sisters" "they don't stay with your parents" he shakes his head "no they are studying in England" " you don't study?" now we are parked outside my house "I do,also in England, I'm having a break year to help out my dad" I nod " what are you studying?" "what do you think I'm studying?" he smirks and asks " I don't know engineering" I smile back and look up at him. He just shakes his head "medicine " he shakes his head and I try and try and get it wrong over and over again "just tell me leeyum" he just shakes his head and laughs. We spend hours in there laughing,talking and bickering. Than I see liam's watch that reads 11pm we left his house at 7:30 oh god my parents are probably dying and I should probably leave now. he seems to have read my mind "it's late" he says I nod " i should go " he nods but none of us are moving. "goodnight liam" I say quietly "goodnight" I smile and look up at him and he smiles back. I jump of and start walking towards my house but before I enter I turn and wave at liam who's still there, he waves back and drives off. I smile as I enter my home.


	7. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thank you so much to whoever is reading this, means a lot. Hope you enjoy xanna

I walk into my house and close the door behind me and turn to see my parents looking at me in a worried way "hi" I say weirdly and walk pass them going to my room "Zayn?" oh god please don't ask why someone parked in front of you yard for almost 4 hours. I turn around to look at them "they keep you for so late. I'm starting to wonder if I should have told Mr Payne no you can't work at his house" my mum say in a concerned tone "mum it's fine they actually give very simple work , all I do is some washing and cleaning" I argue.

" okay but no more late coming you hear me, what if someone does something to you walking home so late in the night" and I wonder if I should tell her liam drives me home but I decide not.

"okay mum" and with that I walk into my room and slide down the closed door. Liam had been so nice tonight. For once I didn't feel afraid around him he wasn't his stern, serious self tonight he was charming and captivating he pulled me in. I shake my head I shouldn't even be thinking about things like this. I cannot let him get to me he is just another boy and with that I go to bed.

*At school*  
It was during break when I heard my phone buzz. Harry and Louis are being annoying and are practically eating off each others faces. I take out my phone to see who it was not like I had much friends besides lou and haz so it must have being important for my parents to send a message while I'm at school . I'm surprised to see it's not my parents but it's a text from an unknown number, must be liam , I had given him my number last night when he slowly slid his phone to my seat while we were talking and I had saved my number in it.

Unknown:hey  
Zayn: hey 

I quickly save his number as a contact 

liam: wanted to let you know i'm picking you up again today

liam: don't walk to the farm i'll pick you up from school 

Zayn : you don't have to liam 

liam: I want to :) wouldn't want you to walk all the way there for nothing it's totally fine 

liam: text me school address 

Zayn: *school address* 

Zayn: thank you liam :)  
I smile down at my phone 

liam: no problem 

liam: see you later :) 

Zayn: bye 

I look back up and Harry and Louis are still to interested in each other, I roll my eyes. The bell rings and I start making my way to class. I can't seem to be able to pay attention at all. Liam distracting my every thought 

*after school* 

I walk out of school and can see liam's van (truck) packed on the side on the school so quickly say bye to Louis and harry and run over to him. I jump in and he starts driving "hi"I say quietly "hello" his face is blank like when we first met. I bit my lip and look at him. Then he smiles " something on my face Zayn" I blush and turn to look out the window "no liam" I mutter. he just smirks and drives. " so have you guessed what i'm studying?" last night liam refused to tell me says I should guess and it's quiet hard I have thought of everything but every time i'm wrong " just tell me leeyum" I groan. He just shakes his head just like last night " where's the fun in that" he continues to smirk " A little too old to be fun aren't you liam " I giggle and turn away quickly as I say that when he doesn't say anything back I turn to him his looking at me with raised eyebrows "oh that's how we gonna play now" I look up at him and smile innocently as he just grins and shakes his head. I noticed him pass the turn we normally take but I don't say anything . "want me to show you how much fun I can be Zayn ?" he stares ahead and smirks and askes me that and if that didn't make me feel chills run up my whole boy I don't know what will. I stare at him in disbelief before looking down at my lap and blushing. "where are we going" I say to move on from the question he he just asked me and that just makes him smile even more "what me to take you somewhere Zayn?" he raises his eyebrows and smirk. I blush and shove at his shoulder that doesn't even move from the push "stop it liam" I say and blush and look out the window "why Zayn,too young to handle a man" I bit my lip and turn to look up at him, he stares down at me for a little while and I swear I forgot how to breath after that. After that none of us say anything but his smile doesn't go anywhere. 

When we reach his house after driving around for about half an hour. I smile up at him "thanks liam" he smiles back and winks at me while I jump of and why is he doing this to me. I quickly hurry into his house where Mrs Payne is baking in the kitchen so she askes me to clean the bedrooms. I clean every one except liam's and trust me it takes awhile they have like 16 bedrooms. Lastly knock on his door when he screams "come in mum and when did you start knocking" he turns around and smiles "oh it's you"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :) xxanna

I begin cleaning up his room without saying anything back to him. He doesn't say anything just sits there and watches me set his books on his table. When I go to push the couch in the side of his room front I feel his wide hands on my waist and a breathy whisper in my ear" I got it " I quickly move away. Oh god what is he doing to me. He moves the couch allows me to sweep under quickly then pushes it back. I mumble a quick "thanks " before continuing. When I go the put his bed he is still sitting there doing nothing but watching me " please could you wake up liam" I say. He just smirks and says "make me" I know he's just playing with me but this is dong stuff to my heart "stop it leeyum" I drag out and pout "you started it" "did not" " calling me old "he fake acts like his hurt "well how old are you then leeyum ?" he pats the empty spot o the bed next to him. I sit down and turn to him and with raised eyebrows "22" he says I move a little closer to him and lean down and whisper "a little too old for me" in his ear, he looks at me with dark eyes before I quickly jump of the bed. I leave him on the bed and finish sweeping quickly and leave his room I don't see much of him after that busy cleaning the big mess Mrs Payne created in the kitchen. I am almost finished when he walks in " getting late" I look at the clock that shows it's only 6:30 ya it's dark out but I worked later at the farm than this. so I only nod and continue putting the stuff away. Which as I've mentioned before is really difficult since I don't know where things go. I'm putting the oven tray away but I can't reach the cupboard it stays in and liam is just standing there looking at me with a smirk on his face. So I huff out a breath before walking over to him and pout looking up at him. He just shakes his head and smiles wider amused by this I just I huff out and walk back trying again. I'm about to give up when the same hands that held me early lifts me and I quickly put the tray away .He puts me back down and turns and starts walking away "I'm taking you home in 5 " Too stunned to reply I just nod and he walks out. Did that just happen. 

I walk out of the kitchen to look for Mrs Payne but I can't seem to find her takes me a good 10 min in this mansion before I see her " hey Zayn looking for someone" "ya,you actually, just wanted to see if I could go now" I ask "yes dear see you tomorrow " I smile at her and walk out only then realise liam's must have been waiting for a good 15 min, shit. I get in and look at him "sorry" he just shakes his head and starts to drive of.

He isn't speaking so I take out my phone and start talking to harry and god he's talking about lou "you got a boyfriend" I hear liam ask, i Iook up at him and say " why would you assume i'm gay" I say in a harmless way. He just smiles and looks forward "so you are straight then" he smirks. I punch the side of his arm "i don't have a boyfriend it's just 1 of my best friends who is insanely in love with my other" he nods "so either no guys at your school have eyes or you just have really high standards" I blush and look down and shake my head " nah I have no time for a boyfriend" I say looking out the window. He doesn't say anything just drives. When we reach my house he looks at me, I smile up at him not wanting to say goodnight too early to go home. "So you don't plan on getting a boyfriend?" I shrug and look down "depends" I say quietly like someone's gonna hear us, we are both turned facing each other. He licks his lips and looks down on me "on what?" I look up at him and bit my lip. We are just staring at each other and i'm breathing heavily, I seemed to have forgot how to do it properly. This is wrong I shouldn't feel like this, I need to get out of here quickly before I do something stupid. I shake my head no I can't do this "goodnight liam" I say and walk out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) xxanna


	9. Chapter 9

He confuses me so much. I need to stop thinking about him, I'm going to get in so much trouble. I can't handle him flirting with me, hell my heart races when he just looks at me imagine what happens when he flirts with me. I know he's just teasing me and this isn't real but it feels real to me. He just makes me want to do things I know I shouldn't do. This is so wrong my dad would kill me if he found out I was thinking of Mr Payne's son like this and if anyone else did I would be in prison. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. Even if I could date him he would never like me, he's just bored so is using me as his entertainment. Well if he's going to think he can do that he should think again because I'm not playing his games anymore. 

*The next day after school*

Liam's here to pick me I can see his truck from where I exit school and I quickly mutter a goodbye to lou and haz. When I entry he greets me with a smile and I can't help smiling back. We don't talk much on our way to his house, well I don't say anything, responding to his questions with a nod or a shake of my head. when we stop at a stop street he turns to me "you're awfully quiet today" I turn and look up at him "something wrong?" he asks. I shake my head, I need to stay away from him. He doesn't say anything after that and just drives of, when we reach his house he turns and looks at me "did I do something?" he says quietly "no" I whisper back and I jump off.I do all the work Mrs Payne asks me to do, the washing and ironing. I don't see liam at all, I go up to his room to clean last, like I had been doing everyday. I knock on his door and he comes and opens it but leaves as soon as he does that. I feel my heart shatter a little by that. He doesn't want to even talk to me but I kind of caused that. 

When he drives me home he doesn't say anything but as soon as we reach my house he starts "i don't know what I did but I'm sorry I guess " I shake my head oh god he's apologising, it not his fault well it kinda is but still, I softly say "leeyum I just had a bad day" He nods "see you tomorrow liam" I say as I jump off, he doesn't say anything back just drives off.

Staying away from him clearly isn't working, that just makes me fall even more for him. Maybe I should just let us be friends not like he's going to do anything and we can be friends right? 

I enter my house and walk straight to my room not really in the mood for movie night, but my mum comes and literally drags me to the lounge. Its my turn to pick so I choose The Dark Knight. Everyone groans because whenever it's my turn I pick it over and over again.

Where half way through the movie when I see my dad pull my mum into his side which she leans into and then smiles up at him, the room is dull, only lighting been our small tv .I smile at this and turn back to the screen when my phone starts ringing and I answer without seeing the caller ID, knowing it must be Harry or Louis "hi " I say "hey" he says. Oh my it's Liam, I stand abruptly and start walking towards my room "are you okay" he asks"ya, ya i'm fine" "okay" after a few minutes I ask " something wrong liam" "no.. actually yes I have a problem this guy is ignoring me and acting weird around me I have a big problem with that" he says in a joking manner, I smile at this " he's an idiot" I say softly. "i'm sorry liam " I continue, whispering into the phone.After that we laugh and joke around, teasing each other and bickering about every small thing just to disagree with each other and laughing about it. We talk for hours until my eyes can't keep itself open "you tired Zayn ?" he asks, I nod like the idiot I am when he can't see me "ya" I mutter out " go to bed" he says softly " goodnight liam " " goodnight Zayn" I smile and fall of to sleep.

*The next morning* 

I walk in the kitchen to find my whole family standing there looking at me questionable. I look at them weirdly and turn to drink some coffee,I am so tired "Who were you on the phone with yesterday? , and don't lie we know it wasn't Louis or Harry because you wouldn't have left the room"


	10. Chapter 10

To say I was scared would be an understatement, I didn't know what to say and they all just looked at me expectedly and then my dad's face broke out a smile "someone special?" I look down and blushed, thank god they aren't angry if only they knew who it was they would die "who is it Zayn?" my mum smile widely "we would love to meet him" ya I came out a few years ago they took it well saying I could love who ever I want they will always support me but that didn't mean I could love him anyone but what he was. Safaa speaks before I can "does Zayn have a boyfriend?" she asks my parents and I would think it was cute if I wasn't the one it was about "omg freaking finally" Doniya huffs out. I cannot believe it "so Zayn what's his name?" Waliyha asks and what the hell I didn't even say anything yet "oh I bet his is so cute because Zayn ,the i'm to good for anyone, finally has fallen for someone" Doniya says. 

My mum and dad just stand there smiling and I don't know what to say " no no I..i .I don't have a boyfriend" I stumble out still in shock " oh son you don't have to hide it, we know it is someone I walked pass your room at one in the morning you sounded very happy and you don't just talk to a no one until one in the morning" my dad says " no seriously I don't have a boyfriend , he's just a friend , god no we aren't together, trust me I would tell you guys if I had one and I don't have time for one you guys know that" they seem to believe me after, all of them look distracted like they really thought I had one. I watch as all there smiles drop "you guys know I have no time for that" I say feeling bad for ruining their good mood "you sure he's a no one ?" my mum asks and locks eyes with me and I bet she can see the lie that came out of my mouth after that " yes mum he's no one" I bet she could see how guilty I was when I said that. I had to break eye contact with her she was making me feel worst if they only found out who he was. But then again she was very gullible.

My dad nodded after that, when he first found out about me being gay yes he wasn't very happy but he warmed up after I assured him that I was in fact gay and was serious about it not just going through a phase so I felt a bit hurt when I saw him smile after I said I didn't have a boyfriend. He walked over to me and ruffled my hair, that by the way was getting quiet long, and pulled me against his chest hand still in my hair " anyway I don't think anyone is good enough for my beta yet" he said quietly in my ear " don't want you to grow up and get a boyfriend and leave me like your sister" he said glaring at Doniya she rolled her eyes. I laughed and pushed at his chest, embarrassed , he just held on to me tighter and I actually missed this. Missed being in my parents arms, missed being held like when I was a kid with no worries in the world. I missed everything that had changed as the years past.

It was Saturday but I still had to work only getting Sunday's off so I quickly had a shower and got ready to leave to the Payne's. I rushed out of the house as soon as I was ready, Liam had texted me saying he would be waiting for me outside.I was actually really excited to see him, at least today I knew ignoring him wasn't going to block the feelings I knew I had for him so I was just going to act normal. I saw his truck and quickly jogged over to it. Once I was inside he started to drive "good morning" he said turning to look at me, I smiled " good morning" "oh you look terrible this morning" he joked. I rolled my eyes " ya well someone kept me up all night" "lucky someone" he said and caught my eyes. He bored into my eyes and I couldn't seem to be able to look away . 

We didn't speak for the rest of the ride to his home. Once there I learned that Mr and Mrs Payne would be gone for the day to one of their friends fund raising events. 

Pro- I get to spend the whole day alone with Liam. Con- I have to spend the whole day alone with Liam


	11. Can't control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks so much if you are still interested ,means a lot :) xxanna

Before they left Mrs Payne left me with a long list of tasks that I had to complete. So I washed and cleaned, scrubbed every room except 2, Liam's (because he was in it) and the one next to his i hadn't been there at all actually. When i mentioned that the room was locked and that i couldn't clean it to Mrs Payne she just waved it off and said it was a room they barely used it was okay.

I knocked on Liam's door and waited for him to open, once he let me in i immediately started cleaning up. Liam returned to what every he had been doing. I cleaned the room, it was quiet simple, Liam wasn't exactly a neat freak but he wasn't a slob at all so it wasn't much to do. I was almost done when i past him, he was sat on his bed drawing but i couldn't see what. Since the only thing left to do was make the bed i decided to sit in front of him. He raised his head and caught my graze with questioning but warm eyes . I only smiled and shrugged, he retained it with his own warm smile.

Before looking back down at his drawing "so do you like art?" he asked me and i gave him the biggest smile i could and nodded "yeah I love it " he nodded before hopping out of the bed and grabbing me wrist "come on i wanna show you something" he said as he dragged me into the room next to his the one that had been locked. He took out a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. It was unbelievable , i turned to Liam with the a grin that is probably splitting my face in half. 

He just started at me with a look i couldn't describe before saying " come on " and dragging me in and just couldn't help myself but stare in wonder. This room is something i have dreamt of my whole life, every brush, every colour, every type of pencil, they had it every single thing i could wish for, empty canvases , some with amazing paintings and some framed on the walls. 

" I also loved art well i still do never find the time for it anymore though" he turned towards me and smiled "come on paint with me" he says softly to me, before he lets go of my wrist and walks forward " i..i coul..dn't " i stuttered out " it wasn't a question Zayn " he says, there's no heat in his voice but i still hear the demand coming out. He turns around and smiles to light up his words i smile back before nodding " but don't get sad when i'm better then you " he teases which i roll my eyes to " modest aren't you Liam ?" i say sarcastically 

He just laughs and starts bringing out different colours and brushes and placing then next to me. I go to help him but he claims that he can do it on his own and orders me to sit. He places two canvases next to each other on the sides of all the paint and paintbrushes. 

We start painting stealing glances at each others paintings and grinning at each other when one points it out. I'm busy when Liam nudges me and i turn abruptly making my brush spill paint on his shirt. I'm about to apologize when Liam shakes his head and says " making it a habit of messing me Zayn aren't you?" it's in a teasing tone and i can't help but giggle. I'm about to turn back when i feel a brush run up my shirt " oh i'm sorry Zayn" but that shit eating grin on his face shows his nothing but sorry so i just glare at him before smirking and pushing two of my fingers in the bucket of paint and running them down his chest "you didn't just do that" he moves closer to me " and what if i did ?" i stare at him challengingly. Before i know it we are throwing paint at each other and giggling at each other while running away from each other in the room. I quickly dump the bucket of yellow paint on Liam before turning around and running but i trip and fall just as Liam grasps my arm bringing him down with me.

He catches himself before he crushes me and is holding his weighed with his arms but is still hovering over me. Our laughter dies down and we stare into each other eyes and i know this is wrong, this is illegal. What am i doing ? but he is leaning down and i can't help myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :) xxanna


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hope you like it :) xxanna

Our lips were just about to touch, i was just about to allow myself to do something that was wrong, something that I could go to prison for, something that my parents would be so disappointed at. I was about to allow myself to do something that I thought I would never do, I was about to disappoint myself by doing this but I just couldn't stop, I just couldn't stop myself.

I leaned up and attached our lips but liam only pushed me down and kissed me harder, he held himself up with one hand and slid the other up my t-shirt, exploring my body and I was willing to let him have me in ways I never thought I would be allowing anyone at this point, but the way he touched me made me want to give him everything. It was shocking. I could feel his hand roam my body going lower and lower until it settled on my ass, I blushed at this and he just tightened his grip.

But then the door swung open.

"Liam I've being looking for you everyw.....oh" an Irish voice said and we both pulled back . Liam quickly stumbled up and turned to Niall. "It's not what it looks like" Liam says hurriedly. Niall shifts his graze from me and turns to Liam " and what does it look like Liam?" Niall gave Liam a sympathetic smile after he said this. Liam nodded more to himself then anyone else and spoke "I have to change" and he left with that. 

I was still seated on the floor messed in paint staring at the ground afraid to look up at Niall. What just happened? I just couldn't believe what could have happened and the worst part, someone caught us.

"I think you should change too" I heard Niall say. I looked up at him about to beg but I was met with the same sympathetic smile he gave Liam. I nodded and stood up just as I was about to leave the room Niall caught my arm " you guys should be more careful" he said in a serious tone but still a little sympathetic. I rush out and say "No.no.no it wasn't what it looked like...it..it isn't what it looked like I promise, it was noth...." 

"Okay" he cut me off and lets go of my arm but in the way that he said it I knew he didn't believe me. I nodded once again and left quickly. 

I just couldn't believe it, what if it wasn't Niall that entered, what if it was Mrs Payne. What am I going to do? what if Niall tells ? 

First I need to clean myself up. I walk up to Liam's room quietly and open the door. I find him banging his head on the wall and cursing to himself "Liam" I say softly, he shakes his head still not looking at me and pulls on his hair as he says "not now Zayn" "Leeyum" I repeat. "I FUCKING SAID NOT NOW!!" he turns around and yells at me. I flinch and move as far from him as I can, ready to run out the door. Still staring up at him, he just shakes his head and looks down at me before saying "I..i.I'm sorry...jus..." 

He was interrupted by Niall walking in "everything alright Liam?" he asks Liam before turning to me and giving me a heap of clothing "you can have a shower down stairs" he says with a smile to me and a wink, I smile back and get on my way.

I quickly have a shower and dress myself in what seems to be Liam's clothes which are by far much bigger than my size. I look at myself in the mirror, Liam's shirt is long and covers half of my thigh but I love it, it's a red and black flannel shirt. His jeans fall back down as soon as I pull them up so I leave them aside and put on my own, it isn't messed with paint that much my jumper had blocked it. I smile at myself in the mirror before taking all my clothes and Liam's jeans and walked out.

I was about to enter the room when I heard Niall shout at Liam "Liam you can't just go and make out with your workers, what's wrong with you?" "Niall I told you it wasn't like that" "then what was it like huh because it sure as hell seemed to me like you were about to do him on the floor" they stopped screaming after that, Liam didn't reply then I heard Niall speak again " look Liam I'm your best friend and obviously I don't mind but what if it wasn't me that entered huh? then what Liam, you are putting him in danger , you are putting yourself in danger, how old is he Liam ? " Liam didn't respond "Liam if you going to do this, then do it properly, I'm not asking you to not do it just please be careful" Liam responded to that "It won't happen again I can assure you Niall, it was just a mistake" 

I knew he didn't feel anything for me so why did it hurt so much hearing it maybe because I had hoped he would've felt something for me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi thanks for reading I would love to know what you think , comment :) xxanna


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoy :) thanks for reading ... comment would love to know what you think :)

A couple of weeks have past since Liam and I kissed, during these weeks he has completely avoided me. He never picks me up from school anymore or even from the farm ,his dad takes me to there house now, apparently Liam claims to be too busy with studies according to his dad. His dad has become more friendly with me over these past few weeks as I get to know him.He tells me stories about his life in England and how he met Mrs Payne, who's first name is Karen, he talks about why they decide to move to South Africa but always go back to England all the time because Liam and his sisters never wanted to move and they now study there. But I love it the most when he talks about Liam with so much pride in his voice, he tells me stories of Liam growing up, in England and what a smart kid he was and still is , those days I love the most.

Liam never stays in the house while I am there working leaving as soon as I come or before so I don't see him, he never drives me home or move the sofa in his room for me to sweep under, he never lifts me up so I can put the dishes away anymore and I just miss him so much.

So it is extremely strange when he comes in one night a little early around 7 while i'm still there, i'm finishing off, going to grab my bag so I could leave when "why are you still here?" is been harshly asked to me by Liam. I look up at him shocked, " I..i .I I was just leaving" I didn't know what else to say. He was looking at me with so much angry, clearing pissed off "com'n" and i'm being directed to his truck. " why are you walking home so late?, do you want someone to do something to you huh ? you're just asking to get raped or beat up" he goes on to me , I don't understand him, he hasn't given a shit about me for weeks and now he wants to drive me home, acting like he cares so much , he is so confusing "i can walk Liam" I shake my head and stop following him, he turns around and pulls on his hair, frustrated and says " I didn't ask if you could or couldn't" and they he continues to walk to his truck, getting in and starting it. He looks at me from inside almost daring me to disobey him, I feel a chill run down my spine as I stare back at him before turning and walking away from him. I hadn't even walk 5 steps and i'm being lifted of the ground and thrown over his shoulder. I shriek out of shock " Liam what are you doing? put me down !!" I demand, he just ignores me. I continue to yell protests at which he continues to ignore. Before I know it i'm been thrown into the passenger seat. He locks the door,walks over to the other side and drives off without saying a word. I stare at him in disbelief as he drives off. What is wrong with him? 

We don't talk the whole way home, he just stares straight ahead as he drives or looks out the window at stops. The tension is so thick you could actually cut it with a knife. 

When he stops and my house I don't know what to say, I feel like there so much unspoken words between us but we both don't seem to know how to get it out. When I turn towards him to speck he is already looking at me. I look up at him and I don't even know how we got this close but he is staring down at me and I see his eyes flicker down to my lips before moving back to my eyes. Then he's leaning in and attaching our lips harshly grabbing onto my hip and i'm being pulled into his lap , my legs on either side of him, saddling him. His hands are on my hips digging harshly into my skin as the move down until it rests on my ass I gasp into the kiss breaking to breath, he starts sucking on my neck, then my jaw, marking me , making me his and I just can't seem to stop him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank so much for reading :) enjoy xxanna

I walk in as quietly as I can, tiptoeing through the house hoping no one is awake. God how could I have being so stupid allowing Liam to use me like that. Once I reach my bed room ,I shut it softly and sunk to the cold floor with my back against the door, without even realising it the tears start to roll down my eyes. How could I have gave myself to him so quickly, knowing he doesn't love me, knowing he never will yet I just allowed him to take me , take me in his back seat. 

I always thought I'd wait for the right person, be in a stable long term relationship when I had my first. Thought he would have met my family, my mum would love him and my baba would try to scare him away but secretly adore him too. 

How wrong could I have been.

My first was with someone who would never love me, someone I could never introduce to my parents. Hell my first was illegal.

I thought I would save myself for someone special, I wanted my first to be special and he just came in and took the one thing that made me feel dignity for myself. 

I feel so dirty as I let the tears of frustration fall , allowing myself to cry as much as I want. I push myself of the ground after a few minutes and walk towards my bed ,stripping my pants of and climbing into bed hoping this never happened.

The next morning I walk up and head straight to the bathroom. I lock the door and take of my shirt .I stop in front of the mirror and the memories of yesterday start flooding in and my eyes well up as I see all the bruises and bite marks left behind the hand shaped marks on my thighs, the mouth shaped ones on my neck and literally my whole body is covered with marks made by Liam. I start to choke on a sob after that , how am I going to cover this shit? my parents are going to kill me.

I quickly have a shower and head to my room. From all the days in the year today seems to be the hottest and how the hell am I suppose to cover this shit up now . I decide on just wearing a t-shirt and jeans and quickly run to Doniya's room to steal her powder from her make-up kit. Turns out cheap shit does nothing to cover up marks.

So I quietly walk to the kitchen hoping I can escape without them noticing. When I entre the kitchen my mum and baba are talking and my sisters are all seated eating breakfast, chatting loudly so I walk to the table and sit down hoping no one would bring up yesterday, but my baba seems to have other plans " Zayn what time did you get in? we didn't see you come in yesterday " he asks with curious eyes and everyone seems to be very interested in this right now. I open my mouth to say something but Safaa beats me to it "The clock in my room said 1 , I was awake cause I was scared and then heard someone come in but it was just you Zayn ." and she giggles like she just found out the best news ever. I just look down at my cereal ."Zayn" I hear my mum say softly. I look up at her with eyes begging her to just drop it. I turn to look at my dad but my eyes don't meet his, he's eyes are travelling down my neck and then he locks eyes with me and all I can see is the disappointment in he's eyes. " Girls, we need to talk to Zayn , alone " they don't protest when the see the tension in the room just leave. 

"Zayn" I hear my dad says sternly and I can hear the disappointment in his voice but I just shake my head furiously, allowing the tears to flow freely "I'm so sorry baba, I didn't mean too " I choke out a sob " baba it was a mistake, i'm so sorry " he turns, looking away" I never expected this behaviour from you Zayn " he says and through the angry and disappointment I hear hurt "baba please , it was a mistake ,i'm so sorry baba it just happened" I cry out " why didn't you tell us that you were seeing someone Zayn ?" my mum says quietly and I can hear the hurt in her voice, I don't reply just look down " oh my " realisation that I haven't been seeing anyone , that her son just allowed someone to use him drops on my her " Zayn ,how could you have been this reckless , you were never like this" she says in a disapproving tone " I'm so sorry " I look up at them and say .

They both turn and look at me my mum is tearing too now and I feel so guilty how could I have done something like that, they always expected the best from me. I walk to my mum, "i'm so sorry" I say timidly and then she surprises me by hugging me. " I love you, but please don't ever do that Zayn" I nod to her and then turn to my dad " I'm so sorry baba" if there was one thing I hated in life it was to disappoint my baba, he was my role model and always had being, I looked up at him so much growing up, wanted to be just like me baba when I grew up and look what I had gone and done. I looked down, not being brave enough to look in his eyes. After a few seconds he huffs out and says " oh beta come here " I hear him say and then I"m being pulled into a hug "always got out of trouble when you were a kid and still do, huh " he says to lighten the mood and I let out a breathy laugh and hold on tighter to him " i'm so sorry baba" "i know beta"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it, please comment and leave kudos xxanna


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hii , hope u like it xxanna

I didn't go to school that day or to work, I didn't go the next or the following. I stayed at home for a week, locked up in my room ashamed to face my parents even after we spoke about it, ashamed of what my sisters thought of me ashamed to go to school and for Louis and Harry to be disappointed well maybe only Harry I think lou might be proud of me.

I just stayed in my room all day only having my mum bring me food, I just slept and cried ...a lot I was so ashamed of myself. The marks have faded from my body but I still feel disgusting no matter how many times I bath I still sit naked on my bed and cry because I still feel dirty.

 

Louis and Harry came home a few times and I hear them talking to my mum, asking what's wrong. I haven't seen them. I kinda don't wanna see them all happy and in love with each other. I don't want them to see this disgusting me. So I spent the whole week cleaning myself but I can't seem to wash it away.

It's Monday morning and I have to go today, I've missed far too much work at school and I know I can't live in my room my whole life. So I get up and drag myself out of bed, I take a long shower and spent far more time then needed dressing up.

When I walk into the kitchen everyone stops talking, a bit surprised. I just walk quietly with my head down, I start to make my coffee and move to sit by the table. My dad's the first to speak "hey beta" he says as he ruffles my hair and kisses the side "good to see you out of that room " he whispers My mum comes and hugs me and place a soft peck on the side of my cheek "hope you feeling better" she whispers .

After that everything goes back to normal, everyone is laughing and talking loudly I excuse myself and walk to school a little early.

When I get there I see Harry and Louis, I walk up to them , they're also a bit surprised to see me and hug me as soon as they see me. I feel much better by the end of the day and then I remember I have to go work when Louis says " can't believe he came,has been coming all week to pick you up" "what?" I say confused and that's when I remember, when he points to the truck. I can already feel tears well up in my eyes and I haven't even faced him yet.  
I blink a few times to get rid of the tears and nod more to myself,say a quiet prayer to myself and walk off. I walk up to the truck and climb in. Liam who had being rubbing his face with he's hands, he has minor heart attack when he sees me. I look straight ahead not turning to glance at him once unlike him who can't take he's eyes of me. 

He gathers himself up after a few moments and starts to drive. We both don't say a word. When we arrive I quickly jump off, before liam could say anything and walk inside I'm greeted with someone else, someone I haven't seen before but she has loads of makeup on her face and doesn't give me a very welcoming look. 

Karen walks in next and is surprised to see me "hi" she says and smiles at me " didn't think you were coming back, oh see we don't have to get a someone else he's come back" she says speaking to the woman.

The other woman doesn't seem to think so " you should fire him for not coming Karen, I mean who does he think he is, he should be begging for he's job now this disgusting thing, he's an inferior pig, you should beat him Karen or better yet let Liam do it he'll put this filthy thing in his place."

 

I feel my eyes water but I can't allow myself to cry I won't allow myself so I just stand their and take her words, I just stand there and wonder why Karen isn't saying anything she's not like this so why isn't she stopping it. 

Liam walks in then he looks at me once and the tears just roll down my face. Their all the same my baba was right why didn't I listen to him everyone one of them are the same. 

He looks at me then turns to his mum and asks "what happened?" Karen doesn't say anything she just stands there.

"oh Liam i'm glad you came in, just look at this little bitch here, crying. You should beat him up, teach him a good lesson, he needs to be put in his place" 

"don't talk to him like that" Liam says sternly to her "i won't allow that here, it you are going to then I think you should leave" he looks angry, really angry. His fists are clenched together and looks like he is going to break something or someone. 

She just shakes her head and turn to Karen "look at this Karen, you know I went to Maura's the other day and Niall's the same, so polite with these things . Even stopped me from beating one of their workers"

"i think you should leave now" says Karen and the lady is really surprised she grumbles something and leaves 

Karen turns to me with an apology but doesn't say anything just smile at me and leaves. Liam walks up to me and places both of his hands on either side of my face forcing me to look up at him. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and just looks at me. I looked into his eyes and in that moment I knew......

........my baba was wrong, they all aren't the same.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi, I just want to say, I'm so happy with the response of this story I never thought anyone would ever read my writing and the fact that some of you guys like it blows my mind I am so thankful. I really hope you guys continue to read it and continue to support me in the way you have. Thank you so much. I hope you like the chapter and I would love to hear from you in the comments and please vote. xanna

He wiped my tears away and just stared at me, it felt like forever before he let go of my face and walked away. 

 

It's been 3 days since that happened, 3 long tiring days. Just like after the kiss he avoids me, he picks me up but doesn't say a word to me, he drops me off like before just doesn't talk to me. It does hurt a little but I think it's better this way.

I'm currently at school, it's the last period and I do enjoy most of my subjects, Accounting just isn't one of them. The teacher is dragging this lesson and seems to have made it her life mission to make the whole class fall asleep and I'm not any exception. I had been over at the Payne's till late last night and had not been able to fall asleep with Liam on my mind . 

He is a constant thought no matter what I seem to be doing he is always at the back of my mind, distracting me. The bell rings walking me up from my day dream so I gather my stuff up and walk out the door. 

I'm out the door turning into the corridor when I hear someone call my name " Zayn ...Zayn" I turn to see a boy I've met a few times. He isn't in any of my class but I've see him . I recognize him because he and my dad are pretty close and he is always helping him around. He's tall and well built with brown eyes and dark hair a bit like mine and might be a little handsome may I add. "Hi " he huffs out, obviously running previously trying to catch up with me, and smiles softly, it's a bit cute the way he's cheeks turn red a little, "hey " I say and give him a small smile. We stand like that for a few moments before he speaks "so..... like I was with your baba the other day and .." he looks at me nervously and gives me a tiny smile before continuing " and he and I were talking, uh..I ..mentioned that I was going to see this movie and he said... ..ya he said you kinda were into this kind of thing and wanted to watch the same one for a while now and he also mentioned that you might be free, so ....like I was wondering if you wanted to go with me like on a date" he looks at me hopefully. It's so cute but I don't know I have all this liam drama and I don't have much time but before I can respond I see he's smile fall before he says " I mean it's okay if you don't want it to be a date.. I mean we can just go as friends if you liked" . He looks so sad and maybe this is what I need, something new , I needed something to help me forget, something to help me forget about Liam and work and school and everything I just needed a distraction. I smile and look up at him "actually .....I would love to go on a date with you." He gives me the biggest smile ever "so like can I text you now" I look up at him weirdly and let out a laugh before nodding and pulling out my phone expecting him to do the same but he just stares at me with an embarrassed look " uh " he looks around before looking back at me and continuing " your baba kind of gave me your number a while ago, I just never sent a message cause that would be kind of creepy and you probably would have filed a restraining order against me and then how would I win your heart over.......oh shit i'm sorry I shouldn't have said that" I just huff out a laugh because is this guy for real,oh he is adorable. I nod and smile up at him "okay then make sure you send that message now , about our date, I promise no restraining order" I say in between laughing and give him a wink. He lets out a breath and smiles before giving me a nod. 

Then I remember Liam, who has been waiting, I check the time, oh my for about 3o minutes, I look up at Tyler and rush out a goodbye " i'm sorry I have to go " he just nods and say " goodbye " I smile and run out the school doors. 

I quickly get into the truck and get in, he looks at mean for a little while before driving off. I fight of a smile thinking about Tyler, I can't believe I have a date. I see Liam turn and look at me then turn back, he probably thinks I've gone mad.

I finish my work quickly wanting to go home early. It's barely 4 when I finish and Liam just looks at me and goes and starts his truck I take that as my cue and leave.

Our drive home is silent just like the others and as soon as the vehicle stops I jump of and run inside. Only my sisters are home because I'm early. I greet them quickly and run upstairs to have a long shower before going to make something for supper so my mum wouldn't have to worry.

I'm almost finish just clearing up when I hear my mum come in, " Zayn your home early today " she says as she comes and kisses my forehead and then greets the girls doing the same to them " and you've made dinner, oh babe you shouldn't have, thank you " she smiles gratefully at me "no problem mum I was early today."

My baba comes about an hour later and hugs my mum kissing her cheek and then does the same for the girls. When he sees me, he comes to greet me, ruffles my hair and kisses my forehead.

We all sit and eat after that, my baba seated next to me "baba ?" I draw he's attention "yes" he looks up from he's plate "so I was at school and Tyler you know YOUR friend Tyler came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him " I stare at him with raised eyebrows "oh really ah that's good huh nice boy, decent fellow i say" he say innocently, "ya and guess what else he told me, he told me that my baba said that I was available and would really enjoy the movie he wants to watch " he looks at me guiltily and smiles "baba " I groan " I am a grown man and can make these decisions for myself, I know you mean well but baba.... " "Firstly you are no grown man your my small son and secondly I'm sorry beta but you know I'll only be happy if you get someone like Tyler" he says like an angry child. I roll my eyes at him"Baba I am your only son and I know baba that's why I agreed to going out with him" I say quietly. He's eyes go wide and looks me " really?" " yes baba, I had to get someone you liked or you would scare the poor thing away before I even got a chance to date him" I mumble teasingly and then look at him and smile. He smiles back "have to protect my beta" he say quietly and then we continue our dinner no one else having heard our conversation.

 

The next day school is pretty normal, Tyler comes and sits by us at break , Louis and Harry have a blast teasing us . At the end of the day, he and I walk out of school together and I turn to say goodbye, and Tyler is looking at me and biting he's lip, I smile and look down. Then I look back up "bye Tyler" I say softly before standing on the tip of my toes and giving him a kiss on he's left cheek. I see his cheeks instantly turn red before I turn around and walk away. 

 

My smile instantly drops when I see him. Liam is straight across from me staring at me, I rush to the truck and get in, he isn't very happy. I close the door and he speeds off, he drives fast and as soon as we reach his house it's like that day a few months ago when I slapped him, he grabs my wrist and pulls me towards he's room. Dragging me up the staircase, as soon as we reach he's room he opens the door and slams it shut, still holding on to me, then taking me and slamming my back against the wall "who was he?" he shouts out at me. I can feel tears run down my face "no one Liam" I say in a pleading voice "no one Liam I promise." "don't fucking lie to me " he screams "I'm sorry Liam " he seems to calm down at that, a few moments go by before he asks" why'd you kiss him" I look up into Liam's eyes and see hurt. I don't reply and then I hear him speak again "did you let him touch you baby?" he says in a sad tone " tell me Zayn, have you let him touch you where only I have?" he asks with a tired voice and strained voice "no ..oh no Liam I promise Liam only you have"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I tried to write a long chapter since exams are starting soon but i will update whenever I can. I really do hope you guys enjoyed it and I would love to hear what you think in the comments. Again thanks so much for reading. xxanna


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hope you like it

When I was 8 my granddad was my best friend , he would read to me, he'd sing to me and then make me dance for him, we would have so much fun together, playing pranks on my baba. He made me forget what life was for us. He'd never allow my baba to talk about work or even tell the horror stories of how we were treated. He wanted to protect us from this evil world by hiding it from us. 

My baba disagreed with his ways of protecting us, he wanted us to know the stories, to be prepared he wanted to protect us but he knew he would never be here forever to do so. He knew we would grow up and we would have to face this world vicious world alone so he prepared us, prepared me. 

Today I realise no one can protect you, no one can hide you from this world and no one can ever prepare you for this life.

 

You're probably wondering where the hell did I get all that shit from well lets go a few days back...

Liam's possessive, I always knew and I accept it but why do I always turn into his submissive little bitch every time he so much as raises his voice, I hate it , I hate how he had so much control over me. 

But i'm not going to allow him to influence my decisions. Here was an opportunity with Tyler, his cute and funny and doesn't have angry issues like Liam, his smart and hardworking not to mention his fucking legal. I would be able to hold his hand and kiss him out in the open I would never have to worry about getting caught and my baba would love him hell he already does. Yet with Liam all I see is problems, obstacles in my way. I guess that it's a clear decision. 

I'm going out with Tyler whether Liam likes it or not.

The date arrives faster that I expected, we settled for Friday night. Now it's the hard part trying to get off from work. I had been meaning to do it all week but I was too scared now I have no choice it's now or never. I walk into the kitchen where Karen is sitting drinking a cup of tea and reading a book.

She raises her head,turns to me and smiles . I smile back timidly " Mam I've finished" her smile widens and nods " well you can leave then " I nod she looks down at her book once more "ah mam ?" I draw her attention " she looks at me " yes ?" " I actually have something to ask?" she doesn't say anything so I continue " I ... ah I wanted to ask if I could maybe have tomorrow of please ?" I look at her pleadingly. She stays silent and I quickly regret ,my words " i'm sorry mam I've overstepped my boundaries please forgive me how could I have every asked that of you " I blabbered on then she cut me off " yes you can have tomorrow off, dear you never have to apologise for asking something but if I may ask why ?" she gave me a cheeky smile " I blushed and replied "nothing important mam" not satisfied with the answer she says " why if it wasn't important you wouldn't have asked now would you ?" she smiles at me " just spend sometime with my family we never do anymore"I say in fear of her telling Liam about it. 

Speaking of the devil he walks in " are you ready to leave ?" he looks bored and tired. I mutter a quick goodbye to Karen before nodding to him and walking to his truck. 

We don't talk the whole way just like everyday and as soon as we stop I run off. When I enter the house i'm hit with the smell of my mum's curry , my baba's strong cologne mixed with his cigarette smoke and a bit of Donyia's perfume. I smile and walk to the lounge to see my everyone playing monopoly on the floor. I fake hurt gasp and throw a hand to my chest " how could you traitors start without me" they laugh " well you always cheat anyway "they all say" I pout and reply "no i don't" .They laugh and restart and when I win for the 3rd time this week everyone claims I cheated again so we're off to sleep.

The next morning flies by mainly because I woke up late but that's none of your business. I reach school just as the bell goes so I hurry of to class. Every period longer and more boring than the one before. At last the end of the day arrives. 

As I'm walking of I see Tyler so I walk over to him, he smiles when he notices me and calls me over. He introduces me to his friends before turning to me and smiling and leading me away "we're still on for tonight right?" he asks, i smile and nod . He breaths a sign of relief before speaking again " i guess i'll pick you up at 7 that good ?" i smile and nod . He breaths a sign of relief before speaking again " i guess i'll pick you up at 7 that good ?" i smile and reply " ya that's good " 

The night comes rather fast and i'm late as usual so Tyler's waiting with my baba. i run downstairs and see as they both turn to look at me , which was kind of awkward on my part may i add because they both just stare at me " i'm ready" i rush out " uh....you look lovely " Tyler stutters out and i smile at him. I see my baba turn to look at him before turning to me and smiling softly at that moment i knew that i made the right decision. He walks over to me and kisses my forehead "i'm proud of you beta". H e pulls back and looks at me one more time before turning to Tyler " i want him home by 10 actually 9" i laugh and push at his chest "baba" i groan out and i can see my mum laughing at me from the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks for reading i'm sorry for late update and a shit chapter I promise there will be more ziam in the next chapter which will come very soon thanks for reading please comment and leave kudos


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hope you guys like it thanks for reading

The date's going good so far. We're currently walking out of the cinema, we watched Batman vs Superman and I loved it, the ending was fucking scary I thought I had lost my Clark Kent for a while there but it turned out he didn't die so it's all good. However I don't think Tyler liked it much, he hardly paid any attention to the screen, kept on looking to his phone and around the cinema, probably not a fan. I hoped he would have been one. 

 

"Do you want to get dinner?" Tyler asked waking me from my daydream " I'm not really hungry" I wasn't even lying "it's kind of late" I continue "okay" he nods to me "ya I probably should get you home I don't want your baba to have my head" we laugh at that "hey no talking about my baba behind his back or i'll have your head" I say pointing a finger at him and raising my eyebrows. "you've already got my heart let me keep my head" he says smiling at me. I push at his chest and continue walking, I look back and say "come on you got to get me back home in 10."

The whole night I thought about our date, it was nice and just how I would want a date to go but something was missing and the most scariest part is that I'm pretty sure it's the smirks and possessive touches, he's amazing really but he just isn't Liam . God I need to stop thinking about him, which is very hard when I see him every single day. I have Tyler now I don't need Liam.

 

I wake up early and go down for breakfast the girls are still asleep so the house is quiet, when I enter the kitchen my mum comes and gives me peck on my cheek and a bowl of cereal. I sit down and begin to eat, when my baba enters he gives my mum a peck and comes over to me to ruffle my hair "so beta how was the date ?" I look at my mum accusingly, when I had come home yesterday my baba had already went to bed feeling a bit sick so only my mum had got a chance to interrogated me. Knowing the two of then they probably spoke about it already. 

Instead of answering his question I ask "how are you feeling baba?" "good enough of that don't worry about me, so how was it?" he leans forward from across the table "it was nice baba" I say smiling at him "i have to go now or i'm going to be late" I run out of the house and look for Liam's truck. I wait awhile before he comes we stay silent the whole way.

When I reach the Payne's I clean the whole house except Liam's. Last I walk to his room. He sits at his desk reading I put his bed and pull the curtains open scrub the floors and polish the furniture. When I go to his desk last he stands while I clean it. I turn to leave when I hear him say or more like spit out "so are you ever going to fucking tell me where the hell you were yesterday ?" I turn and stare up at him. How dare he, the first words he says to me in more than two weeks. He is so rude and arrogant but not today, today i'm not gonna stand here and listen to his shit. "i was with my family" I reply hoping he believes the lie, "don't fucking lie to me" apparently not . "i'm not lying " "yes you are" when I don't say anything and start to walk away he grabs my arm harshly. I try to pull away but he just holds on tighter, painfully so. "You...you lying whore you were with that son of a bitch" I look up at him in shock and blink rapidly trying to get rid of the tears forming. Once I collected myself I push at his chest "I'm not a whore and he's not a son of a bitch" he laughs darkly "not a whore ya right yet you don't deny being with him yesterday and if I recall correctly just a couple of weeks ago you were spreading your legs for me" I look up at him hurt before I smack him, and I should regret it, thing is I don't.

He grabs my thighs and pushes me onto his bed "you fucking bitch" he screams at me "i'm not one" I scream back at him "shut up" and it's when I do that I realise he's taking of my clothes. Fear clouds mind "li..li.liam what are you d...doing" I stutter out "what the fuck does it look like i'm doing" 

I fight him trying to get away from him, he grabs me and holds me down "Liam please" I plead, not sure what to say I begin to breath heavily and I can feel tears wet my cheek "nn..no please..please liam stop .please liam i'm sorry" I rush out. By now all that's left is my underwear "i'm sorry Liam I promise it won't happen again" I try to fight him and push away he just pushes me back down. "didn't I tell you to shut up" he screams "please liam" I cry out to him "no I've got to show you who's you are" he says "liam" I call trying to get his attention, when he looks into my eyes I hold his graze. I pull my my hands out of his grip, he seemed to have softened when he met my graze. I grab onto his face pulling him close to mine, where I can feeling his hot breath "liam if you do this I will never ever forgive you" I sob out .

He still holds onto me but more gently before softly saying "i thought you were mine" all I hear is the hurt in his voice and I can see it in his eyes "Liam I can't be with you, you know that" i reply "We could try" his says with hope, and you know maybe we could, i'm tired of doing things for other people i'm going to do this for me. So i grab onto the back of his head and kiss him with all the emotion I've been hiding from him, letting it out, hoping he feels all i do right now because this is what was missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it  
> xxanna


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey thanks for reading, hope you enjoy

I have no doubt it is fear, fear in them , fear in this land. How do we enjoy life when their is so much fear in our hearts.

*

We're having supper tonight with Donyia's boyfriend and his family. Which is quiet a big family. There is his dad, mum and 4 other smaller brothers, the second oldest Dan is my age. His a little of a spoilt ass. Although Anthony (as far as I know) is a good lad . He is tall with black hair and dark brown eyes. They make a good couple. He and Don go to the same university (where the met). Apparently for her it was as easy as running into a class late and the teacher assigning her seat. His quiet when she's loud, his simple while she isn't they sort of are opposites, cancelling each other off. I guess that's why they fit so perfectly together.

 

I'm pushing my food around my plate, zoned out of the conversation everyone is in. The noise just a buzz in the back round with all the voices screaming at me in my head, reminding me of Liam and I, how no matter what, we could never have this. "Zayn" I hear Anthony's mother call snapping me out of my day dream, I lift my graze from my food to her. "is the food not good ?" she asks me with concern in her tone "no,it's wonderful" i smile and take a huge bite from my plate to show her, and really it is, if only my insides weren't trying to become my outsides i would be enjoying it. "why don't you come help me by bringing the desert while i clear up ?" I stand and take a few plates from the table for her and walk towards there kitchen. She is such a nice person i realise while helping her clean up and bring desert i'm so glad Doniya has found someone good for her with a wonderful family. Oh how i wish we got to choose who we fell in love with.

*

I'm cleaning his desk when i hear the door being closed behind me, i turn to see Liam locking the door. I can hear his heavily breathing in the quiet room, and see as he hold himself up with the support of the door not turning around to look at me. i wait for a few moments, watching as his back raises and falls in sync with his breath. Finally he turns around to face me "Zayn" he says, which seems like a greeting yet sounds like and apology "Zayn, I'm so sorry i never meant to react that way the other day" he say which angers me "Liam it wasn't just the other day , you used me and left me ...all alone, you were my first and you made me feel like a piece of shit afterwards. " i say, and it feels good to let all this out to someone, tired of holding it all in. "i am sorry Zayn , i never meant to hurt you i would never want to ever " he says and i hear the regret the guilt weighing him down and i would never want Liam to feel pain but right now i have to say this "but you did, so many times Liam, you've hurt me so much" i can feel tears on my cheeks but i don't have time to care. "Zayn you don't understand i tried so hard to stay away from you, you know what would happen to you if you and i were caught and i can't let that happen to you Zayn. You don't even know how much you mean to me, I've tried my very best to move away from you and it was working but i can't see you with someone else Zayn.. i can't..I can't stay away from you , I can't have anyone else touching you, taking you out on dates and loving you freely,I can't do those things but it's killing me thinking someone else gets too, Zayn i can't stay away from you i can't watch you love someone else. " 

I hear the desperation in his voice as he finishes and i'm shocked yet the rush of love runs through me as i watch him and i can't even explain how i feel right now, can't put into words so i don't say anything . I run up to him and throw myself on him, my arms surround his neck and his arms catches my thighs hoisting me up. I hold on as tight as i can to him, never wanting to let go, hoping this feeling could last forever, hoping this moment could never end, hoping reality never has to wake me from this dream. "Liam" i huff out and pull my face from where it was hiding the the crook of his neck. "ya love?" and thousands of emotions run through me "kiss me " i smile and say. I see his eyes turn sad for a moment then. A thief in our haven, "babe i.. the other night i almost ... i don't want to push you " I smile at him softly before replying "okay then if you don't want to kiss me" i look down at his chest them look back up into his eyes "i guess i'm gonna to have to do it then Mr Payne" and I in and kiss him and it's perfect. When i pull back he only holds onto me tighter .

"Love "he calls "hmmm "I reply to happy to care. "do you remember when we first met and i asked if you could guess what i was studying and you're lame and couldn't" I huff out a laugh and pinch him, " i'm studying law babe, i promise i'll fight for us, one day i'll be able to love you as much as you deserve" he whispers while placing a kiss to my forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it please leave kudos and comments would love to know what you think also if you wanna chat my Instagram is :directioner_anna_ my twitter : 11Directioner7 
> 
> thanks for reading xxanna


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hope you guys like it :) xanna

I can't say everything was all sunshine and rainbows after that because that would be a lie. But everything was slowly getting better. I ended things with Tyler feeling bad for leading him on but he understood. He and I have agreed to be friends still and sometimes he still sits with us during lunch. He really is a great guy and I do hope one day he finds someone as great as he is. 

And Liam well Liam is just amazing . He is putting so much effort into making me happy and i'm so grateful something I don't think he knows. He never realises just how amazing he really is. I hope i'm making him as happy as his making me. 

I can't believe how fast time seems to go. Stolen by the 20 minute snog in his room and the quick handjobs in his truck outside my home and I love it. I finally feel like a real teenager I guess. He makes me forget and live a normal 16 year old life. I get this adrenaline rush every time I even come close to him. But sometimes i feel like this is the calm before the storm.

*

I'm currently eating my cereal which is gone soggy. I grimace and push the bowl away, glancing at the clock I decide to leave. I quickly kiss my mums cheek goodbye and shout goodbye to my baba who's outside.

So today I decided it's time I tell Harry and Louis about my "Liam situation" . It's been driving me crazy, I feel like such a bad friend hiding this from them for so long. Lets hope this doesn't go too bad.

Louis and Harry are fighting, which just makes telling them even more worst. Apparently Harry was talking to this girl and Louis is mad, which I don't even understand . 

"wait..what?" cutting of Louis rambling about what happened. I regretted asking what was wrong.

"he was flirting with this girl " 

"no I wasn't. Louis talking to someone doesn't mean i'm flirting with them"

"ya if you were talking in this case giggle and touching my boyfriends chest I would say is flirting"

"Louis stop been over dramatic" and I don't think Harry should have said that

"Well what do you have me be Harold, i'm in the fucking drama club" Louis shouts out 

After that lets just say the both just start shouting at each other. 

"I'm dating a white boy" and the table is gone silent in a split second 

They both just look at me in shock, mouth open. It silent for few moments before Louis laughs "wow Zayn I actually thought you were serious for a second there" they both laugh but its so fake like there hoping its just a joke. I look down before looking up and them and smiling tightly "i'm not joking lou" "no you are you are definitely joking there is  
no way in hell you can be serous" Louis say furiously. Harry seems to have become mute in response to the news, staring in shock at me. I try to ease the tension "oh well you know it's not exactly official but you know" I stutter out "no we do not know Zayn please enlighten us on how you could do something so stupid " I roll my eyes "that's rich coming from you lou." He stares at me in disbelief. Then he signs "I'm sorry just...what's going on Zayn ?" well that was a shocker Louis almost never apologise and when he does 99%of the time it is to Harry. "well uh you know Mr Payne well his son and I are kinda I don't know what to call it...we're kind of seeing each other." 

"wait what Mr Payne's son....isn't he taking a break from university.?!..how old is he Zayn?" Louis asks, I look at him pleadingly "Louis" "Zayn how old is he?" " 22" I whisper out. "oh my god" Louis has his head in his hands. 

It's silent for awhile again before Harry speaks "Zayn you do know how dangerous this is right, not only is he white but he's so much older..Zayn I don't want him taking advantage of you. But if he makes you happy i'm not going to stand here and tell you not to date him. Love has no colour or age if he is what you want don't let anyone take it away from you" then he gives me a small smile and for a moment I think of Niall they would get on so well. Then i hug Harry and whisper a thank you. Louis smiles at Harry and i see how much love they share before he turns to me and smiles than shrugs "we'll always support you Zayn" Louis whispers to me when he joins the hug .

*

Once i see Liam's truck after school i quickly mumble a bye to Louis and Harry who have resorted to teasing me now that they know about Liam and have calmed down about the fact that it's illegal. 

I jump in and smile at Liam, he smiles softly back and sometimes i find all of this so unbelievable. He looks at me twice while driving before asking "so what's gotten you in such a good mood ?" My smile widens and i look out the window before i turn back "oh nothing it's just."i quickly try to make up something "today is Wednesday which means it's chicken curry today" "ya" he huffs a laugh and looks at me "that's all that's got you worked up nothing to do with your really fit boyfriend picking you up from school." I snort and then realise what he said "boyfriend?" he looks down at me and gives me a small hopeful smile "hopefully?" My face breaks out in a huge smile, my cheeks hurting from the force before i nod . He leans down and kisses me softly while at the stop street before he accelerates again. I smile and look out the window again before he interrupts my thoughts "oh and by the way i would love to try that curry" i huff out a laugh "ya,maybe one day i'll make it for you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it please comment and leave kudos xanna


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi I know it's been like a thousand years and I'm really really sorry if there is anyone who was waiting for an update. I feel absolutely horrible for not updating in so long. Hope you still have patience and read it even though I haven't been fair to any of my readers. I've just been having a really bad year but I do apologize and hope you like this chapter.

1990

As much as I would like to say everything was perfect but as the months went by small touches in the dark and quick kisses on his bed just wasn't enough anymore.

I hated lying to my parents, I hated hiding from my parents, I hated having to hide my love. Everything was just so unfair and as much as I loved him I kept wondering if he loved me just as much as I did. 

I hated myself for doubting him but I couldn't help myself. He just seemed so content in how everything was and I wasn't. I wanted more...

 

I wanted to walk freely amongst everyone. I wanted him to see that I wasn't as happy as he thought I was. 

I couldn't imagine myself with someone else but I could see the benefits. I could see how I would be able to walk to school with my hand in his or not have to hide it from my parents. 

I just wanted someone I could love without having to fear.....but I could only love him.

Schools stressful and exams are close, everything's drowning me and he seems fine. 

.....

I walk slowly alone to school deep in my thoughts. Through my drowning our country has been falling and it only makes me more fearful of what would happen if anyone found out about mine and Liam's relationship.

The non-whites have started fighting back and that would have made me happy a year ago but now it just scares me. 

I fear of what might happen to Liam, it's been a war zone out there and we've been in our own little bubble, not realizing the immense fear we should have.

As the day commences I hear the teachers talking of the riots in other schools and the petitions that have started.

We are let of early so I message Liam to pick me up.  
I see his truck and walk to him "hi li" I say as I get in.  
"Hey babe " he says and gives me a gentle smile and all my worries seem to fade. I hate how much I need him, how much I need his gentle words and sweet touches, how much it hurts been apart because that's exactly what I need but I can't. 

"Zayn" he calls breaking me from my day dream. I look up at him and it's always those beautiful brown eyes and those bushy eyebrows and his stupid smile and I feel tears well up in the back of my eyes as I think of how I shouldn't have allowed myself to become so emotionally attached.  
"Ya?" He reaches from his side and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. He leaves his hand on the side of my cheek.  
"What's wrong ?" I'm already shaking my head in denial before the question is out of his lips.  
"Nothing" I whisper. He looks at me suspiciously before nodding more to himself and turning back to the road while muttering "okay"

When we reach his house, we sit in silence for a bit before he reaches across and takes my face in his hands.  
He kisses me deeply, biting my lip softly so I part them. We continue to make out before he stops and whispers in my ear " come on babe lets go to my bedroom."

We run up the stairs and into his bedroom, he pushes me down and hovers above me as we continue what we started in the car. He struggles to removes my jeans and we giggle into each other's mouths. It feels like falling in love and that scares me and excites me. 

I try my best to remove his shirt while he distracts me. Once we're both undressed he pulls back from our deep kiss and stares at me , while still hovers above me, I flush as he continues to do so with a small smile upon his lips. I grab the back of his neck and pull him down so I can suck on his neck. His hands roam my body while mine goes to his hair when one of his hands slip between my cheeks, he gives my arse a small squeeze and then he asks me something unexpected "can I make love to you ?" He breathes out on the side of my face while gripping my waist. I nod unable to find words to reply with . He only adds with that "speak my love" and I feel like my heart isn't mine anymore and every doubt of him feeling any less of what I feel for him disappears. "Take me Liam" I stutter out to him and he slowly starts taking me apart, and everything around me seems to disappear as he and I become one . I hold on tight to him as he pushes me to the edge, breaking me apart only to put me back together. 

As we reach our ends he whispers in my ear softly "I'm in love with you" and everything is perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading please comment and leave kudos it means the world to me xxanna

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I hope you enjoyed it. Please comment I would love to know what you think. Oh and Louis and Harry are going to be Indian in this. This story also comments a lot on apartheid in South Africa and I hope that I don't offend anyone. Also thank you to anyone that reads this, it means the world to me.


End file.
